Friday, 12 November 2010

Jungle Venus: Kayla Collins

Playmate Kayla Collins is off to the jungle

One of the more ridiculous "reality TV" programmes on British television is I'm a Celebrity get me out of Here!.  In this epic, which runs every day for what seems like months but is probably only a few weeks, a group of Z list clebrities are taken out into the middle of the Australian jungle where they have to camp. 

Gravity actually works on Kayla's bust

In reality they are only a few kilometres from the remarkably tasteless looking Palazzo Versace, where they are all put up before and after at no doubt enormous expense, but the makers of the series make it look like you have to fly for hours to get to the camp.

Even aerosol whipped cream tastes better than kangaroo's testicles

They then camp in the jungle and have to perform various challenges to earn food to eat.  Increasingly these challenges involve having to eat disgusting creatures or parts of creatures. 

Mylene showers her way to the top of the YouTube hit list in 2006

Agent Triple P, we are sorry to admit, enjoyed some of the earlier series but hasn't watched it since 2006 when washed up manufactured pop group singer Mylene Klass took a shower in a white bikini and launched a hugely lucrative career as a model and presenter on the back (er..) of it.

This year's version starts on Saturday and, surprisingly, we have actually heard of most of the celebrities.  A last minute addition, due to an already booked "star" dropping out is described in the press today as "Playboy model Kayla Collins". 

Kayla's centrefold

Now usually when the press describe someone as a Playboy model it means that they have had 1 picture in the magazine or appeared on Playboy TV for three minutes.  But no, further research shows that Miss Collins was an actual Playmate of the Month; for August 2008. 

An unusually revealing shot for a recent Playmate

More than that she sems to have a natural bust and no tattoos.  Hooray!  She is a rather petite 5'2" and 34-24-34.  Born in Pennsylvania she is 23 years old and, wait for it, has her own swimsuit line coming out next year.  Expect lots of shots of her soaping herself up in her new bikinis in the jungle camp shower.

She's not really Agent Triple P's type of girl, but we will no doubt tune in once or twice (pretty girls usually get voted out by the public fairly early on) to check out her qualifications.  So far they look rather sound.

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